My Issue

This is what I woke up to a couple days ago.

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Darn snow.

I guess Winter had to give it one more shot.

I am so glad we didn’t have a long, cold, snowy winter because we had two vehicles with lousy winter tires and I would have been a little stressed driving anywhere.  Normally, I have decent winter tires and have no trouble getting around town or up and down hills.  I grew up in the bush, after all.

But having tires that spin on an inch of slush on a flat road does not inspire confidence in my chances of making it home without slipping into the ditch and having to feign helplessness to get the next guy in a truck to pull me out.  [I do like how well that works though]

I prefer to be the one pulling the neighbour out of the ditch in my big 4×4 with tires that have enough good tread to climb a tree.

If I get stuck, I’d almost rather stick the baby in a sling and walk home.

Almost.

That’s my backup plan if I happen to be feeling extra independent that day.

And my cell phone is dead.

And I’m not wearing heels.

Okay, I never wear heels so that’s not a good excuse.  But sometimes I’m sort of dressed up.  As dressed up as one can get in jeans and cowboy boots (that’s all I wear because, well, I don’t usually own a pair of dress pants.  Gasp!  That’s right, I break down and buy a pair for some function that I need them for and I wear them once, then they sit in my closet for a couple years while my body changes shape and then they don’t fit me anymore so I toss ’em.  It’s really sad.  I have a nice grey pair hanging in my closet right now that I wore once or twice a couple years ago, but last time I went to wear them, I looked like something out of a magazine [if I do say so myself] but I felt so goofy and not like myself that I had to change into jeans again.  I make up for it, or try to make up for it, by wearing pretty tops.  Part of my problem is that I also don’t have shoes that go with dress pants, so I end up wearing some uncomfortable pair that I keep stashed in my closet for just such an occasion and I feel totally self conscious like everyone’s making fun of my ugly shoes so I don’t want to sit down cause then more of my shoes will show but it hurts to stand so I pretend I’m having a great time when all I want to be wearing is my comfortable jeans and my broken-in boots that feel more like slippers.  Then I would be having a great time…watching everyone else limp out to their cars in their stilettos at the end of the night.).

Okay, where was I?

Right, walking home or getting yanked out of the ditch by a guy with good tires.  How embarrassing.  Especially when he sees me in a four wheel drive with a lift and wearing my boots.  I should be able to drive better than that.

It’s my tires, I swear!

Right.

Crazy woman driver.

Let me pull you out with my big truck with good tires.

Oh, thank you!  I’m just a little helpless girl who can’t drive in these awful slippery conditions and I’m so glad there’s guys like you with big trucks to pull me out every time I get stuck.  And walking home in these boots is unthinkable!

😛

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