Farm Tour

Alrighty.  As promised, here is your tour of the farm where I came from.

If you missed the first installment of My History, click here.

The second installment is here.

The first pen we come to houses our lovely sheep.  This is Alex.  Short for Alexandria.  Don’t ask me why we named her that.  She never gave us any babies and ended up getting sick and dying.  Or she was shot to put her out of her misery…I can’t remember which.  She was nice though.


This is our pesky ram Remy.  Short for Remmington because that was the colour of his wool…remmington steel.  I think.  He and my little brother butted heads sometimes.  Remy was cute and cuddly when he was little but he turned out so mean and got out of so many fences that he ended up tied to a tree for the last year of his life.


We had another sheep too that we named O’Henry because he had splotches of chocolate, white and black all over him.  He was a wether (castrated).  He was ugly.  His bum was higher than his head and his “wool” was all shaggy.  Hannah didn’t like him, but he was nice too.  He tasted yummy.

We let the sheep out sometimes to graze the sparse weeds in the yard.


Over here in the pasture, we can watch Banner show off for a while.  He loves to show off.  That’s the tack shop and a chicken run in the background.  I’ll tell you about Banner another time or this will get way too long.


We bought another horse so two of us could ride together.  She was supposed to be pregnant but it turned out that she just had a grass belly.  I guess that’s what you get for a $700 Tennessee Walker cross.  Normally they’re at least $3000.  We finally named her Tundra.  Too bad she didn’t have a baby cause we would have named it Taiga.  Wouldn’t that be cute??  This is my favourite shot of her.


The other photos of her make her look swaybacked and boney with miles between her front and rear legs.  Probably because that describes her perfectly.  She has issues with having the cinch tightened and with people mounting up, but if you can survive the big head whipping around to bite you and the back leg striking out at you from the other side and actually make it onto her back, she was fun to ride.  Once you got her out of the yard, that is.  That was another challenge.  But she loved to be brushed and we loved her anyway.

Chico was a Standardbred rescued from the track with windpuff issues (google it if you really have to know) on his legs and no brains in his head.


He wasn’t ours.  We looked after him one summer for someone else for free in exchange for riding privileges.  He rode english but we didn’t care.  We rode him however we wanted.  I just couldn’t teach him anything he didn’t already know (and for some reason, no one taught him to back up).  He was a major source of frustration for the budding horse trainer I was becoming.  None of the magazine articles on horse training impressed him.

Over in the back corner of the pasture is the pig pen.  Someone built it before we got here.  It’s made of full sized logs stacked three high and it’s about the same size as our house.  This is Petunia.


We traded her roommate Peter for a truck or something, I forget.  We never ate her though.  My brother used to climb on her back and hold on to her bristles while she spun in circles trying to get him off.  We put her in the garden one winter and she rototilled it for us.  If you ever get pigs, make sure they can’t get out of the pen.  They are agile and strong[willed].

PLEASE don’t ever buy a llama.  Hannah and Luke each got a llama for christmas one year.  Hannah’s died (as did all her pets, from various causes), so it was replaced a few months later with another one that looked almost identical to Luke’s.  His llama is named Shushuap, and the new guy’s name is Jedi (the shorter one).


They have some rather queer behaviour besides spitting half-chewed grain all over Banner’s face.

They jumped out of their pen a lot.  We’d find them a couple kilometres from the house eating bushes on the side of the driveway (the driveway was three kilometres long) and have to chase them home.  I was sitting by the driveway about a 5 minute ride from the house one day letting Banner graze, and the llamas ran by heading down the driveway (again).  There was no point trying to chase them home by myself so I let them go.  We never went after them.  We never saw them again either.  Maybe they turned feral and are terrifying the neighbours during the full moon to this day.

Now if you’ll follow me back to the house, I’ll introduce you to the dogs.

This is Luke’s dog Bear.  He’s a border collie we got for free and he’s super smart.  Not too inclined to chase sticks, but he endeared himself to us nevertheless.


This is Tovah.


She’s a standard poodle and was given to us before we moved here.  She never listened to us.  She had a couple of litters of the cutest puppies after we got Bear, but she tried to get rid of them all the time.  She would show up at home with no puppies and we’d drive down the driveway and find them huddled together at the side of the road…in the snow.  We should have kept a puppy and sold her instead.  We had to get rid of her when she started eating chickens.

This is Hannah’s dog Ben.  He’s an Akita, and a gorgeous one to boot.  He was a very dominant dog and we never pushed him around, but he was also very affectionate with us.  If I had known what I now know about dogs back then, we probably could have avoided having to put him down.


This is my red heeler Tammie.  We were needing another dog (at the time) and found her for free in the paper.  She bonded with me.


She was very overweight when we got her, but after a summer of following me all over the mountain on Banner, she slimmed down nicely.  She’s a great dog.  Very obedient and smart.  I taught her to roll over and to tip toe.

After Luke’s dog died of distemper (we think), some friends gave us their collie Sabre.  Nice name for a sweet female collie, huh?  It works though.  She has a weird pink nose cause the hair never grew there and it gets sunburned and peels.  Gross.  And she likes to poke you with her nose too.  Other than that, she’s a pretty nice dog.

[Note: we don’t own any of these dogs anymore.  They all died or were given away…or shot.  Sabre actually made the papers during the Kelowna fire…someone found her wandering around.  This was after we had given her away so she could stay in the bush when we moved to town]


Some other animals we have are the kittens.  We must have had 5000 by now.  Mom breeds himalayans trying to get the perfect face, and sells the ones that don’t make the cut, which is all of them, luckily.  Oh, except one.  She sold it hoping to get another one, but it never happened.  My kitten was named Tinkerbell and she didn’t like me very much.  Maybe cause I always smelled like Horse.


Luke has a ferret named Festus.  He’s an interesting animal that I would rather watch from a distance than get close to, and they don’t exactly smell nice either.  They have long pointy teeth and look kinda like wolverines, and snarl like them when they’re “playing”.  No thanks.


I don’t have any pictures of the chickens, or the geese, or the rabbits, or the turkeys, or the peacocks, so we’ll have to cut the tour short.  But here’s a nasty shot of our cabin.  That’s my room in the top right dormer.


Well now it’s time to say goodbye to me and all my friends.

We would like to thank you folks for kindly droppin’ in.

You’re all invited back next week to this locality,

To have a heapin’ helpin’ of our hospitality.

Y’all come back now, ya’hear?


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